Winter 2002 Feature

An Intimate Look at Race and Friendship

For the first time in its distinguished 94-year history, the prestigious Ford Hall Forum, the nation’s oldest free public lecture series, sponsored a presentation away from downtown Boston and its favorite venues of the Old South Meeting House and Blackmun Auditorium, and, in collaboration with Pine Manor College, drew one of its largest audiences in recent memory to the College’s Chestnut Hill campus.

On November 6, more than 300 people gathered in Ellsworth Auditorium for a presentation by two longtime friends and colleagues at Mount Holyoke College: Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian, dean of religious life, minister, and expert on interethnic and interracial relations and racial identity development, and Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum, dean of the college, professor, psychologist, and author of Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

The two presenters discussed their experience and insights on the impact of race and gender, racism, sexism, and other “isms,” on developing and maintaining friendships across racial divides, and on the need for persistent, ongoing work in the area of race relations. They emphasized the need for sensitivity and understanding in all interpersonal relations, particularly those with the added dimensions of race, ethnicity, and religion. They also shared anecdotal information on their own longstanding friendship, with its joys and frustrations.

A question and answer period followed with the audience of Ford Hall Forum members, PMC faculty and students, and students from Boston College, Wellesley College, Mt. Holyoke College, and the Belmont Hill School.

Dr. Andrea Ayvazian

Dr. Ayvazian spoke of the work that she is doing at Mount Holyoke in the areas of interconfessional and interracial dialogue, indicating that she has found structured settings to be the best forum for fostering initial conversations and deeper dialogue. “Students can live in the same dorm and even next door to one another, yet never really communicate. They may have questions, they may have interest, but they aren’t always sure how to begin,” she pointed out.

Ayvazian also talked about the need to be sensitive to the partner in dialogue and to be willing to give
personal space and time. In discussing interracial dialogue and friendship, she went on to say, “Racism is the most pernicious and deep-rooted problem confronting us today. It needs to be faced and worked on all the time. There is no place for guilt or recriminations, but there is a real need for honest effort and genuiness.”

Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum

Dr. Tatum discussed interracial dialogue and friendship from a black perspective and touched on problems welling up from centuries of exploitation. In talking about her son, she related an incident that occurred when he was in grammar school. “I went to a meeting with the teacher and expected to hear how well he was doing,” she related, “yet she spent the entire time talking about the strange way that he held his pencil. My immediate reaction was that this was caused by stereotyping and racism, but I went ahead and had my son tested and found that there was a muscular problem. The teacher was right.”

“In order to be comfortable in dialogue, blacks need to understand their own history and achievements and not fall victim to stereotyping either by other blacks or by whites,” Dr. Tatum stressed. “In reaching out, blacks have to be aware of the fact that they may or may not be exposing themselves to prejudice and stereotyping, but they have to keep on making the effort.”

Both speakers also discussed the inherent advantages that being white in U.S. society confers, including higher levels of expectation for performance, the ability to more easily retreat into anonymity, and the virtual freedom from being profiled. They also stressed that these advantages were usually not sought after but nevertheless were there and were most often taken for granted.

They concluded on a positive note, saying that ongoing dialogue and efforts to bridge the racial divide were more important now than ever before and should be fostered and encouraged.

The Ford Hall Forum was founded in 1908 as a non-profit educational organization dedicated to promoting and facilitating public involvement in the open exchange of ideas of public interest through the presentation of free lecture programs that actively engage diverse audiences in discussion and debate.

The evening came about through an eight-month planning process that involved President Nemerowicz and Tom Fornicola, director of Ford Hall Forum, and a PMC faculty and staff committee.